Saturday, 24 March 2012

Indie, my divine inspiration!

I am sure if it wasn't for Indie I would hate Brandon. I look down at my arms scarred from the violence and aggression inflicted on me. The scratches and bites that drew blood reminds me how each drop of blood oozed failure; loneliness; frustration and total abandonment. I decided during one of these episodes to look at Indie for guidance. Not sure, why but I wanted to tune out of the horrific incidents to focus my mind on an alternative in order to maintain a grasp on reality. So when Brandon threw with immense strength and accuracy his cup of drink at the far wall and the sweet, milky substance oozed down the crevices of the murky coloured wall into a thick pool at the base; this is followed with the plate of toast and nutella and the piece of toast lands nutella side down on the roof and sticks there alongside the soggy rice cracker and tomato sauce stains. The slow cooker follows with an almighty crash as the ceramic insert smashes into a million tiny bits tinging my heart with regret because I had just started using this new cooker after receiving it from my dad as a Christmas present.
Being a labrador, I would have assumed Indie would be consuming the food and items strewn over the floor; however, instead she is walking in a semi-circle around Brandon avoiding the flying objects as they just miss her head. It almost looks like she is saying:'Heh, tantrum all you like kid but don't you dare run out of that door!'. Of course, this is just my speculation. Once, Brandon is finished with throwing and ranting and raving he resumes his ritualistic pacing through the house and Indie follows. What I learn from Indie is to forgive and forget and move on and this is what this beautiful dog constantly does.
This reminds me of Matthew 18:22 when Jesus' disciples ask Jesus how many times should they forgive their brothers and Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

So as I sweep and wash the floors and walls of my home for the upteenth time that morning, I reflect on wanting to have the strength like Indie to continue to see the beauty in Brandon even through all the mess.  This is why I believe Indie is my divine inspiration!

I believe this poem represents Indie and how she carries Brandon through the hard times in his life without question; without judgement and just  because she loves Brandon for being Brandon!
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."
                                                  

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